Sunday, April 14, 2013

Perspective


It is very easy to become frustrated after a major injury. It is so easy to remember the person you loved and wonder if you will ever get them back. It is even easier to think, "Why us"? and, "How can I ever deal with this horrible plate I have been served?" Even now, amidst all of the miracles we have seen and the amazing process we have made... it is easy to lose sight of of our journey. Looking ahead at the challenges of returning home can be daunting. Listening to Dad talk about riding his Harley and returning to work is a little heart breaking. Constantly reminding him to take his time, slow down and allow himself the summer to heal is an extremely tiresome process. This evening, my Mom and I took a jaunt back down the dark path of the last month. I'm ashamed to say that we have already forgotten. The horrible fear, dark prognoses, and excruciating pain have formed new and vulnerable scabs. We have willingly and gladly moved into the Rehab phase with hope for our future and a promise to accept our "new normal". That being said, revisiting the past has renewed our gratitude and wonder. We will get through this. I am absolutely convinced that Dad will eventually return to his old life, even if it is with slight deficits. The last three weeks have brought with it so much progression and strength. I know that the next three will do the same. I have sat and watched the cursor on my computer flash for five minutes wondering how I could possibly describe my feelings about the two videos below. The first was taken by my Uncle Ryan in the Neuro Critical Care Unit. It shows Dad standing for the first time since his stroke. We were so unbelievably proud. That moment showed such determination, but it also showed just how much this brain bleed had taken from him. As you can see, he is quite vacant and still living somewhere between here and "Limbo Land". 


The second video is Dad in therapy last week. I am so proud of him in this video. His balance is off, yes. He needs support to remain upright, yes. But look at him! He is attempting difficult tasks and remaining determined to complete them. I am happy to report that he is stronger today than he was then. He would still struggle with this particular therapy exercise, but not nearly as much. We have been so unbelievably blessed.

This weekend was great. Dad participated in multiple therapy activities as usual. He even baked a cake, did some dishes and played soccer with my Mom. His diet was upgraded to "general", meaning if you can eat it, so can he. He was moved rooms as he is no longer required to be video monitored. He is going on his first outing to a sports warehouse tomorrow so we can see how he functions in the world and around a crowd of people. He requested that Mom bring his wallet, so he can buy his own lunch. "I don't want to spend any of these people's money". :) Thanks for continuing to follow our journey. It's not over, but we are genuinely SO grateful for where we have been, where we are and where we are going. 

4 comments:

  1. Did Judd ever bake a cake or do dishes before the stroke?:) He really is making progress!!! So happy for him and the rest of you. Thanks so much for allowing us to be part of this journey. Looking forward to having Judd and Susan get back home.

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  2. Oh I love that he wants his wallet! That sounds like Judd. I echo Brooke, thanks for sharing this journey. It is inspiring and humbling.

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  3. I don't know about a cake, but I have seen that man barbeque and create a banquet (Courtney and Neil's wedding)---I've always admired his "hand" in the kitchen and the fun he has with his family. That will continue.
    Keep working hard on the physical therapy and getting the New Normal going....you can do it.
    Bruce and Gracie Hill

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  4. Tonight as I read this I am filled with so many emotions. Tomorrow is my wife's one year anniversary of her ruptured brain aneurism which lead to 9 1/2 hrs of brain surgery, a stroke that has affected her whole left side, which unfortunately is her dominant side and many many frustrating, painful, upsetting, I can't go on day's, but just like your Dad, she keeps fighting each day. This is simply the hardest thing we've ever had to deal with during our 26 years of marriage, but we keep going one day at a time and as your Dad prepares to head home, it will be so hard to hold home back and he might be a bit upset at times because his brain is saying "Yes I can" but the body is saying "Not so fast!" It's a matter of compromise and finding a balance. Allowing them to continue to regain their independence and sometimes stumble. This has been a very hard year, but we have done it and we pray all the best for your whole entire family as you begin your new journey home and welcome to the life at home and as we also call it the "New Normal!"

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