Another Step in the Journey

(Carlie)
Well as many of you may know, today has been one big day for Dad. He started with his therapies as usual. I only caught the tail end of his morning sessions, but I got the scoop later. Apparently dad has "graduated" out of occupational therapy, if you will. They did this exercise with him today where they had him hide some bean bags around the therapy gym. They told him that he would have to remember where he had placed them, because he would have to retrieve them later. Apparently he did not find this little activity worthy of his time. :) he griped the ENTiRE time about how stupid it was. As it turned out, it was a little stupid. He picked those bean bags back up no problem, one by one. This is great news though, even though Dad thought it was silly. It lets us know that the short term memory issues are getting better, and gives assurance that the progress will continue! After therapy in the afternoon Mom, Dad and I got all geared up for a highly anticipated outing! This was dad's first time outside the hospital in about a month and a half. It is truly hard to believe it has been that long. The U therapy team likes for patients to leave and integrate into the community at least once before discharging. It is good to see how dad will react in crowds, and if his basic skills are still intact. I'm happy to say that he did so wonderful. He got all dressed in his typical uniform (wranglers, button down shirt, and cowboy belt), and I couldn't believe how normal it all seemed. This whole scene brought about some interesting emotion in me. I admit, I cried like a baby when I saw my Dad standing there in his usual attire. I was so relieved, grateful, joyous, and maybe even a little sad all at once. It was so interesting because there was truly a time where I wasn't sure that I would ever see my dad the way I remembered him, again. But even though he looks the same, and sounds the same, I have to remind myself that things will probably never be the same. Let me preface this by saying that I am truly so humbled and grateful by the fact that dad is alive. I would have taken him in absolutely any state. He is doing so amazing and I would never dream of taking that for granted. However, there is a part of me today that realized that life for our family, particularly my Mom and Dad, is probably going to be very different. It is becoming very real because dad is heading home in a mere 48 hours. I worry so much about the adjustment to life once they return home. There is a very selfish part of me that will miss both my parents so deeply. I know that they want to go home, and I am so grateful they are returning to Idaho the way things are, but today I couldn't help but reflect on the past month. I wonder often about what the future will hold. I worry often about my dad and how he is coping with all of these changes in his life. As I was watching him today I couldn't help but feel a little sad that he is dealing with this. I am so aware of the way that things could have gone, but any injury of this magnitude comes with multiple layers of feelings. I am so proud of this man. I am amazed every single day by his attitude and spirit. How was I blessed with 2 of the strongest people I've ever known to raise me? I couldn't hold back a tear as I watched my mother guide dad through the huge dizzying sports store today. It was very indicative of their relationship to me. For so many years he guided her through the storms that life has held. Now I know that she will do the same for him. She will be there to hold him up when he needs just a little extra boost. I can't think of any other person in this world that is better suited to care for my dad and help him continue healing in the comfort of the place he loves most. I am sorry that this post was a little rambling. My parents have been heavy on my mind tonight, and I know that someday I will be so grateful that this blog exists to show us just how far we have all come.