I wish I could make him understand in some way just how much we love him, just how much we believe in him and mostly how grateful we are to have him back. For the first time in my life I feel like my Dad is in a place that I can't get to. In this moment of silence between us, I would give anything to hear his voice. For two weeks I have been mourning for me, for my siblings and for my Mom. Today I am mourning for him. For what this stroke has taken from him. I am mourning the sparkle in his eyes. I know it will return in time, that its going to take a lot of hard work and encouraging words. I will try not to be impatient and for now I will just enjoy this moment I have with him. Watching him live and breathe, proven by the beautiful sound of the ventilator.
I don't know if this is helpful or not helpful but when my mother was in a similar situation (only she was in a coma for about a month, maybe more) she doesn't remember any of the trauma or time spent in the ICU. She really only begins to remember when she was moved out of ICU and that only partially. I don't mean to imply that your being there isn't important, of course it is, but it makes me feel better knowing that my mom doesn't look back and remember how awful it was (like we all do)! I'm not sure that it is that way for everyone but it's just a thought, good or bad. Love that you are blogging this, you will look back on it and be grateful you did.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need to make him understand how much you love him...HE KNOWS! And I believe he spiritually feels it when all of you are there. I think it give him much comfort and peace though he can't communicate it. He is so grateful for all of you! Hang in there. Still many prayers being sent your way!
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